


Surviving

by GingerItt



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, Rape, Rape Recovery, Sexual Assault
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-09
Updated: 2013-12-09
Packaged: 2018-01-04 03:13:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1075858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GingerItt/pseuds/GingerItt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The bullying Kurt endured at McKinley was worse than anyone thought and he never went to Dalton.  Instead he met Blaine in college in New York as he just begins to recover.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Surviving

New York had become an escape for Kurt. A way to get away from the bullying and the violence and the sexual harassment (Because yes, it was sexual harassment. He looked it up.) that was ignored by teachers and the school that was supposed to protect him. From the moment the real horror began, New York was there, a dream that kept him going through it all.

It started with Dave and a sloppy kiss that he never wanted.

He'd kissed him in the locker room and Kurt hadn't stopped him or his rough hands as they pawed at him. His clothes had been all but ripped from his body and when it was over, he'd cowered in the showers until the water went from scalding hot to ice cold and he couldn't stand it anymore.

It got worse from there. Dave told his friends and they all tracked Kurt down and took their turns with him. But it was Dave who was the worst. Dave, who mistook Kurt's visible indifference for being aloof instead of the silent rage that it was. Dave, who purposely left marks on his skin that mocked Kurt when he was alone. Dave, who whispered terrible things in his ear so often and with such voracity that Kurt started to believe him.

Graduation finally came and Kurt escaped Lima for New York with Rachel. His first day on his own, he found a free clinic and went to get tested. He hadn't wanted to risk being seen at one in Ohio on the off chance he would be recognized and his dad would find out. The physician's assistant who took his sexual history barely raised an eyebrow as he told her the events of the past two years but the discreet card for a psychiatrist offering free treatment for people like him said that maybe she'd been a little more affected than she'd let on. He left clutching it and a prescription for a round of antibiotics.

It was with shaking hands that he'd dialed Dr. Seay's number and set up his first appointment. His first appointment had been terrible, just sitting in that squishy armchair and giving one word answers to questions he never wanted to answer. But he answered them and at the end of the hour, he made another appointment for four o'clock every Tuesday for the next two months.

Hiding what he was doing every Tuesday afternoon from Rachel was easy. She had class until six and in spite of her busy body personality, she respected his privacy. 

Hiding what he was doing every Tuesday afternoon from Blaine was harder.

He'd met Blaine when they'd been partnered up for a project for Intro to Drama during the second week of classes and when it was done, they didn't stop spending time together. They had standing coffee dates, saved either other seats in all their shared classes, studied in the relative quiet of the apartment Kurt shared with Rachel, had lunch together almost every day. He never asked questions about where Kurt disappeared to every Tuesday afternoon but always asked if everything was okay. Blaine was the closest he'd ever had to a boyfriend and Kurt was starting to wonder if maybe his feelings weren't one-sided. He'd seen Blaine's eyes traced up the length of his legs and heard him clear his throat when he'd take off a scarf or a sweater. Rachel would grin silently at him, as if she knew something he didn't.

It was six weeks into his appointments with Dr. Seay that he tells her about Blaine. About sweet, handsome, affable Blaine that knew his coffee order after hearing it once and hummed while he cooked. The past month had been one of the best that Kurt could remember and he knows that it is because of Blaine. And he wanted Blaine. He wanted him in ways that he never thought he'd want another person but he had no idea of how to go about it.

That was when Dr. Seay recommended that he attend a support group in addition to their weekly appointments. She helped him find one that met on Thursdays every two weeks near campus and between a gap in his class schedule. 

And he went and cried the entire time.

He met people who had survived so much more than him. Men and women older than his dad who were still reeling from the trauma they had lived through. Teenagers who didn't know life without it. He didn't belong with them. His own experiences seemed trivial by comparison and he said as much during his next appointment with Dr. Seay.

"Don't compare yourself to them," she'd said. "It's not a competition. Go, listen and talk and ask for advice from people that understand what you've been through."

So he did. And it... helped.

And Blaine was still there.

They'd progressed to holding hands and the occasional kiss on the cheek. Every now and then, Rachel would find them curled up beside one another on the couch as they watched TV. It was intimate, much more intimate than anything Kurt had experienced and he wasn't running away from it. And neither was Blaine.

He wasn't sure when it happened, but at some point they started calling each other 'boyfriend'. There was no conversation or dramatic admittance of feelings or nervous questions. They simply became boyfriends. If someone had told Kurt years prior that he'd accidentally find a boyfriend, he wouldn't have believed them. But there Blaine was, all sweet smiles and corny jokes and patience of a saint.

Sex was impossible not to think about even when they had yet to discuss it. From the moment Blaine's lips touched his, his first real kiss, it was on his brain. He still went to see Dr. Seay and to group and discussed his fears about a sexual relationship even though he wanted one. Everyone gave him their opinion and advice but it came down to one thing.

What it came down to was something he wanted to avoid: he had to tell Blaine.

He spent days on edge, gathering up his courage to confess to him something his own father didn't know. How was he supposed to tell him? The expression 'like ripping off a band-aid' came to mind. But he couldn't just blurt it out over coffee or as they were making dinner. He kept putting it off and putting it off and in the meantime, their physical relationship continued to progress. 

Kurt loved kissing Blaine and feeling his skin against his own. It had been just after Thanksgiving and they had both come home from visiting their families. Rachel was still in Ohio, enjoying the luxury of not having any Monday classes and Kurt had invited Blaine over Sunday evening with the intention of telling him.

But Blaine, with red cheeks and snow in his hair and that gorgeous smile, was impossible to resist from the moment their lips touched. Kurt had tugged Blaine's pea coat off his shoulders and soon both of their shirts were littered on the floor and they were stumbling towards his bed. In the morning, they woke up with their arms tangled around each other and snuggled close to keep warm. They'd fallen asleep still wearing their pants and Kurt tried his best to give him a smile but inside, he was panicking.

The rest of the week was spent avoiding Blaine when he could. With finals coming up, Blaine was busy too so it was easier than Kurt thought it would be. He lied his way through his Tuesday appointment with Dr. Seay, avoiding any leading questions. She studied him for a few moments, clearly annoyed with him, before reminding him of his group meeting that week.

He came to the support group a little early that week, purposely to avoid passing Blaine in the hallway between classes. It wasn't mature of him but honestly couldn't handle seeing him until he knew what to do. The others filtered in, greeting him with kind smiles and asking how his holiday was as they took their seats. Parker, the therapist that helped lead the meetings and a survivor himself, came in and took his seat in the circle. Kurt chatted with a few people as they waited for a few stragglers to arrive. He was one of only a few to come weekly. Others came as needed and Kurt really hoped that one day he could be at that point.

Just as Parker stood up to welcome every one, the door creaked open and they all turned to see who it was.

"Sorry to interrupt, my class let out late and my counselor suggested this group--" The person froze and stared at Kurt, mouth hanging open.

It was Blaine.


End file.
